Are you feeling stressed, pressured and unsure about how to deal with a continuous stream of stressful events? Does your life feel out of control? Join one of the largest single groups in the nation. I call it the SOG. That’s, stressed out creation. Nobody is immune today from an assortment of stressful situations originating in their careers, relationships, financial lives and everything else that crosses your path.
Go on holiday and you probably feel some stress from a circumstance. Spend a quiet day at home and I guarantee that a stressful circumstance is waiting to strike through your phone, tv, doorbell or pc. To inform you that stressful events are ordinary in your life isn’t reassuring. To give you a laundry list of things and exercises to do to lower your anxiety is a waste of time. To discuss solutions with you which can help you deal more stressfully is a dream.
Stress is a neutral idea. It is neither negative or positive. Stress isn’t found at a late plane, a broken appointment, a finicky computer, or kids or employees which don’t behave in accordance with your expectations. Stress isn’t waiting on hold, being over drawn or awaiting anybody. These are merely events. What makes them trying is the way you chose to respond to them.
Allow me to outline my daily seminar on stress with a single sentence. Stress is your inside-out response to outside-in occasions, circumstances, people or conditions. Some folks create a whole lot of internal stress from a specific situation while others don’t find the identical situation as stressful. Some people are ready to “push people’s buttons”, while they don’t have any effect on other folks. You see stress isn’t about what’s happenin g”out there”, but what’s going “in here”, within your own mind.
This report is in two parts. Part one, what causes, anxiety. And, I’m not going to give you a list of stressful events, but instead another way to look at why you respond, inside-out, as you do, to such circumstances, or people. Part two, how do you regain control of your mental self so that these conditions no longer have power over your reactions.
Why does one person feel their life is out of control, but others seem to glide through life in control of the destiny or mission? I believe there are numerous contributors to these two outlooks. Let’s take a brief look at each one of these. Among the most significant causes of frustration for many people is the unrealized expectations of other people’s behaviour or actions.
Low expectations shield you from disappointment, high expectations put you up for disappointment. The solution is to deal in fact of what is. Going through life without expectations is to make an normal life without colour, passion and joy. The trick is to manage your expectations with a transparent image of who you are, who other individuals are and what’s. Everyone in life has personal objectives, dreams, desires, hopes and agendas to realize these.
A personal agenda is just destructive when you have to manipulate others through guilt, blame, anger or some other psychological power play to get what you need irrespective of the cost you or others need to pay. People in your life aren’t your personal pawns. Life isn’t a chess match. When you act with regard to the impact on others lives, you’re being totally selfish.
A wholesome selfishness is essential if you’re to attain personal freedom and reach your aims or goals in life, but these shouldn’t be achieved at the costs of others in life. There’s sufficient in this life for everybody. There’s absolutely not any shortage of abundance, there’s just a lack of vision, courage, imagination or creativity about the best way best to receive your share without hurting others in the procedure.
Everyone filters life through their own set of personal filters. All of us see life as we’re not as it is. Ten people can observe anything; a book, film, meal, auto crash, debate, drama, or persons behaviour and they’ll all see them otherwise. This is bad or bad, right or wrong. People aren’t good or bad, right or wrong. They’re all doing the very best they can with what they have at their disposal at any given time.
Your perceptions or interpretations are your own. You own them. I don’t need to see life as you see it and you do not need to see life as I see it. The world isn’t flat, hot food is simply too hot for many people, drivers before you are just too slow once you’re in a hurry, late is relative to your thoughts about time, the list is endless.
Point of view
Whether you see; the glass as half full or half empty, the future as bright or same stuff different day, the past as a teacher or one disappointment after another, life as challenging or one day at a time, is the general life outlook. People who have a positive optimistic life prognosis live longer, achieve more and live healthier than people who have a negative, pessimistic outlook. When you look at everything in life as negative, you may experience everything in life as unwanted. It does not imply it is, but this is how you interpret it.
Failure isn’t negative it’s neutral. Some people today use failure to get stronger, wiser and better, while some use failure as an excuse for poor performance, results and so on. All of life is impartial. To see yourself as a victim is to wish your situation continue. Life isn’t lurking in some dark corner witting to pounce in your own dreams, desires over and over. It’s there that you use, interpret, perceive and learn from.
Everyone believes lots of things. Some are in accord with TRUTH and some aren’t. It is possible to believe this to jump off a 50 story building isn’t going to hurt, but life does not really care what you believe or take. It’s immune to your beliefs wrong or right. Operate within truth principles and you’ll enjoy peace, harmony and equilibrium. Break the rules or try to create your own and you’ll enjoy frustration, anxiety and disharmony. Your beliefs have gathered through the years as a consequence of early caretaker instruction and advice and from your everyday experiences and conditions that reinforced or contested those earlier teachings.
The difference between your beliefs and reality is your own personal distress zone. Values are what you stand for. They’re the fiber of your being. Everyone’s values are unique or different. No ones values are wrong or right. They may seem as erroneous if they differ from your own, but at the other persons consciousness they’re acceptable, appropriate or normal. The issue arises in human interaction once I see your values as erroneous and attempt to modify or manipulate yours to be like mine. But I am not appropriate.
Different values cause individuals to feel stressed when they are ineffective at changing the other individual, group, culture, or country. Emotional maturity is the ability to see life events and individuals with a transparent vision and without bias or judgments. Some folks grow older and are as immature emotionally as when they were in high school. Some folks, however, have discovered at different stages of their life to handle their responses, reactions, emotions, feelings, thoughts and behaviour.
When you lack psychological maturity you tend to see life as hard, unfair, unjust, and uncaring. When you’ve got a high level of emotional maturity you see “why” in people’s activities, “why” in the conditions of life and “why” in the unfolding of your life. Self esteem is the picture of yourself. It is who you believe you are. If your self-esteem is large, you feel confident, brave, optimistic, in control, and conscious. If your self-esteem is reduced you see yourself as a victim and lifestyle from control or your own hands.
When your self esteem is low, you will have a tendency to feel anxious, fearful, distressed, uncertain and a pawn in life for folks to use or abuse as they see fit. When your self-esteem is large, you will have a tendency to do it, make decisions, move forward and take life as it comes. You’re not a victim but the master of your boat or destiny. Your self-esteem isn’t a function of different people’s approval, your achievement, accomplishments, failures, mistakes, bank balance, speech, wardrobe or some other superficial or external circumstance. Your self-esteem is a function of the internal image and acceptance of yourself and your own personal mission, journey.
Personal development is comparable to your self-development. Self-development is the investment of time, energy, and resources to the better awareness and comprehension of building a better you. Whether it’s emotionally, emotionally, physically or some other part of your life. Everywhere in life you look there are those that are alone, fearful, lack the skills or attitudes required for success and happiness, and generally upset that their life is turning out exactly the way it is. Life turns out exactly the way it’s because that is how life is. The assignments we’re given as we walk this life are there to help us understand how to be more of who we could be. As a student can go to a last exam poorly prepared, you also can go through life badly prepared. This is a wonderful time to be living.