Never? Yes, me too. Is this the moment when we can’t stop laughing? This is something I do almost every day. I have to remind myself daily that we all face the same stressors and problems (on some level). If you don’t pay attention, the comparison game can bring you down. I have been known to take a break from social media from time to time to get away. Few people post their worst photos and update their statuses on how their life has been for the past few weeks. People are not producing shows like “Suzy Pays all the Bills and Runs Errands All Day” or “Tammy Is Constantly Feeling Overwhelmed”. It may seem dramatic to live it, but it’s not going to get ratings. The tendency to believe everyone else has it all together extends to weight loss. It all seems so easy when people post before and after photos.
Weight Loss
The weight loss gurus are seen in their sports bras and lulu lemons, and they talk about how to eat and how motivate others. It looks like we can all live the dream if we can just crack the code. I can tell you that this is as real as reality television. Weight loss and long-term weight management are messy. If you can accept this truth from the beginning, it will be easier to stay committed throughout the process. These are the secrets to weight loss and weight management that an “expert” can tell you. This idea of an “arrivement point” has been the basis of the weight loss industry for many years. It’s sometimes called a “goal weight” (or something similar), but it implies that your goal should be to “get there”, and that once you get there, you will have achieved your goal and been successful in your journey.
Although I support goals, I find that this mindset sells the “one-and-done” mentality. It implies that the process is a quick fix. This is far from the truth. It is a daily commitment. Anyone who has made a change in their relationship with food or developed a healthy lifestyle can attest to that truth. It’s a continuous process that never ends. There is no destination, or point of arrival. Only a paradigm shift and lifestyle changes are possible. It is easy to believe that Jillian Michaels, Geneen Roth, or any other celebrity who promotes healthy living don’t struggle anymore. It is easy to believe that they are no longer struggling with eating and weight.
Good to know
They aren’t. Not entirely. This is all because I have not spoken with these women about it. However, I am willing to bet that I am correct. This is purely my personal experience and observation of many women who have been successful on this journey. It is part of living. If you have ever struggled to lose weight or eat well, it is possible that those struggles could resurface during difficult times. Recently, I noticed the constant thoughts resurfacing during stressful times. I thought, “If you lost 10 lbs, everything will be better.” That one was a great laugh. Here’s the deal. Fortunately, I didn’t answer the thought. I didn’t reply.
I knew exactly what it was and where it was coming. It was ignored by me. However, that doesn’t mean that I amn’t susceptible to temptation. Jillian, Geneen or you are the same. It is possible to be imperfect – which can be disheartening for some, but it gives me relief. It’s okay to relax and stop trying to be someone you are not. You don’t have to struggle in order to succeed. It’s just a sign that you are alive. You may have heard the expression, “It Takes a Village to Rake a Child.” It takes a village to raise a healthy woman, according to me. It takes a team, even though it may not be a village. You don’t see all the players behind the scenes when you look at the lives of others. You don’t see their family and friends supporting them. You are not seeing their trainers, coaches, doctors, therapists, and partners.
Conlcusion
Next time you see someone who seems to have it all together, I urge you to imagine a group of 10 people supporting them. This is a more realistic image. Every book I’ve ever read about or about people who are considered “successful” in the world has something to do with teamwork and support. It seems to me that it is a constant variable in literature, no matter where I get my materials. This has been true for me personally and it has also been true for those I have had the privilege to support in their journey to wellness. This is my challenge to anyone who is one of these people (I know you because you were me). Both asking for help and being willing to accept it are two completely different processes. This journey will be a lot easier if you are open to receiving help.